7 Reasons Why Some of the Kids In Your Ministry Aren't Singing

I have visited a lot of churches over the years and there is something that nearly all children's ministries struggle with. 

Getting kids engaged in worship through singing.  From mega churches to small churches I have seen this play out with very few exceptions.

I am the central children's director at a church with 7 campuses. All of our campuses struggle with this at times and we are looking for ways to do a better job at engaging kids in worship. 

I believe there are specific reasons why some kids don't engage in worship.  Here are 7 of them that I have identified. 

#1 - The songs are too hard or "grown up." 

I often see well meaning churches trying to get kids and parents singing the same worship songs. The thought behind it is valid. We want kids and parents to be on the same page so they can sing the same songs.  

But...many of the songs are too grown up for kids and they seem to disengage when this happens. Just because a worship songs is a fit with adults doesn't mean it is a fit for kids.  Kids are made to move...move...move. They need songs that capture their attention and engages them with movement. 

Doesn't that mean kids can't sing slower, meditative songs? No. But songs should be age-appropriate.   

#2 - Kids...especially pre-teens...are self-conscious.

Often you will see your 4-6th graders standing back and not engaging.  Watching the worship but not getting involved. They don't want to appear "babyish" or "uncool."  They are very conscious of their peers and what they will think if they openly and freely worship. 

#3 - No one is leading them. 

If we expect kids to worship, then we must lead by example. Volunteers should engage in worship. The kids will see this and be more likely to engage in worship.  The good news...volunteers don't have to have the voice of Celine Dion to help lead kids in worship.  It says to make a joyful "noise" to the Lord.  If you are like me, it is definitely a "noise" that comes out. 

The main thing is for volunteers to demonstrate a heart that worships God. Instead of sitting in the back on their cell phone during large group time, they are up with the kids...encouraging them to join them in worship. 

Worship should be lead not only from the front of the room, but also by volunteers who are among the kids.  

#4 - There are too many motions. 

If you are not careful, focusing on the motions more than the words of worship can cause kids to not engage. Should we do motions...of course. But the motions should be there to help kids gain meaning and understanding of the words they are singing. 

Motions should not trump words of worship. Balance is the key for this.  

#5 - You don't have any guys leading. 

This is especially true when it comes to pre-teen boys. If they only see girls...especially younger girls...up front they will usually not engage. 

If you want to engage all the kids in worship, then you need to enlist some high school boys to help lead. 

#6 - You are not targeting the oldest boys in the room.

Aim high. You should be targeting the oldest boys in the room. If you can engage your pre-teen boys, you will engage all of the kids.  "Little kids" look up to the older kids. That's who they want to be like and want to emulate. 

When you don't target the oldest boys in the room and the songs are not age-appropriate for them, they will see your music and worship as too "babyish' for them and they will not engage. This will then affect the entire group of kids. 

#7 - You aren't teaching kids the importance of worship. 

Kids need to understand the "why" of worship. On a regular basis, take some time to explain why we worship God with our voices.  Help them see that worship is not just a fun thing to do, but first and foremost it's a way that we can express our love for God and bring honor to His name and who He is. 

Those are seven reasons why some of the kids in your ministry aren't singing during worship time. I am working on engaging kids more in worship in our ministry. Join me for this mission. It is vitally important as we raise up the next generation of kids who will worship God not only through music but also with all their heart and being. 

p.s. Have you checked out the original worship songs for kids that were written and produced by my friend Travis August?  They are available at this link.  All songs come with worship videos with and without motions.

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5 Things You Should Do For Your Volunteers Every Sunday

The most important part of your children's ministry is your volunteers. 

You don't have a children's ministry without them. 

It's important to take care of them, shepherd them, make them feel appreciated, and invest in them. 

What does that look like practically? Let's talk about 5 things you should do for your volunteers every Sunday.  

Say thank you. 

Walk around and personally say thank you to every volunteer. I use the words "thank you for serving and making a difference."

65% of volunteers say they have never been thanked. Don't be that kind of leader. Regularly thank your volunteers for serving. 

Provide them with a drink and snack. 

One of the best children's ministry leaders I know has a list of her volunteers' favorite snacks and desserts. Every week she makes one of the snacks and brings it for all of her volunteers. Needless to say, they love her.  

Turn the lights on in the rooms and pray over the leader and kids who will be in that room.

Get to church early. Take time to go into every room where the kids and volunteers will be. Turn the light on and pray for them. It means a lot when your volunteers come into their room and the lights are already on and they know it means you stepped into their room to pray for them. 

Have a huddle. 

Meet with your volunteers for a few minutes before they start serving. Encourage them. Share a short devotion or training with them. Pray for them. Share any highlights or announcements they need to know.  

Brag on them.

Look for opportunities to brag on volunteers to parents and people in the church. Anytime the Pastor is around our volunteers, I brag on them to him. This helps volunteers feel appreciated and increases their confidence as a children's ministry volunteer. 

Do these 5 things and your volunteer retention rate will increase.  

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Why Older Kids Are Bored With Your Lessons...And How to Fix It

Are you having a hard time getting older kids to engage with your lessons? Are older kids saying your lessons are "boring?"

Let me help you fix that. Take a look at this quote from the master of helping kids engage with you.  None other than the man himself...Walt Disney. Here is what he said about this. 

It was the first entertainment that Walt Disney had ever designed expressly for children. ‘But we’re not going to talk down to the kids…let’s aim for the twelve-year-old. The younger ones will watch…
they’ll want to see what their older brothers and sisters are looking at.'

Walt knew that you have to aim high. In other words, if you’re trying to connect with kids of various ages in a large-group setting, always target the oldest kids in the group. If you connect with the older kids, you’ll grab the attention of all the kids.

Marketing experts know and practice this principle. I took their advice and created these guidelines for children’s programming. 

Target the oldest boy in the group. In other words, appeal to your oldest boys and you will appeal to everyone.

Choose music that will appeal to the oldest kids in the group. Know what style of music the oldest kids in your group are listening to. Nothing will turn off your group quicker than playing songs that sound too “babyish.”

Feature older kids in your graphics and videos. Our elementary print pieces contain pictures of the oldest kids in the age group. If we do a video or skit involving kids, we normally use fifth-and sixth-graders as actors.

Use the oldest kids in the room on the praise team. If the oldest boys in your group are standing around with their hands in their pockets during worship, check who’s leading. Our praise team is comprised of the oldest kids in the room, junior and senior high school students, plus adults.

Use clips from movies that upper elementary kids think are “cool.” If your clips are from movies aimed at upper elementary kids, you’ll engage all grades.

Bring in upper elementary kids, and ask them to rate the “coolness” of your programming. They can quickly help you identify what needs to be adjusted.

Take cues from pre-teen marketers. They can give you valuable ideas on how to connect with today’s older kids.

Have the oldest kids sit up front. Before I saw this quote from Walt, I would put the youngest kids up front and the older kids in the back. That was a mistake. When older kids see "little" kids in front of them, they will disengage because it appears to be for the little kids. 

Flip that. Put the oldest kids up front. This will help you engage all of the kids. Younger kids will look up front and see the older kids are engaging and it will cause everyone to engage. 

If older kids are bored with your lessons or events or programs, try this simple idea from Walt and you will see immediate results.

Have you read the best selling book "If Disney Ran Your Children's Ministry?" It has lots of great tips for engaging kids with your lessons. You can get it at this link. 

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The "No Screen" Zone...Why Kids Don't Like It

This past weekend, I had a meeting with all of the kids who are going to our summer camp and their parents. 

When we mentioned that there will be no game systems or cell phones allowed, a collective "uhhhh" sound was heard. 

The thought of not having their cell phone or gaming device for a week made them very uncomfortable. 

Today's kids...especially pre-teens...feel lost without their screens. 

But there are great benefits that come from having kids go "no screen" for a period of time.  

They get away from the constant pressure to answer a call or text.  With technology, we are now wired to respond immediately when our phone dings.  But at camp this urgency is removed which helps kids be more relaxed after the initial shock of not having their device.

Nearly half of the next generation spends every waking moment with screens. Playing games. Texting. Streaming. Watching. 

But let's be honest. It's not just the next generation struggling with this.  Adults also face the same challenge. Think about it. When you wake up in the morning, what do you immediately do? When you fall asleep at night, what are you doing? When you are sitting in a parking lot waiting for the kiddos, what are you doing? 

This is everyone's world today. Our phones and tablets and laptops keep us connected, help us with driving directions, let us order food on the go, listen to music, and a host of other apps and programs that help us navigate life in 2026. 

Did you know there are 6.92 billion smartphone users in the world? That's 86.29% of the global population. The average person in America spends 4 hours and 37 minutes every day on their smartphone.

The younger the generation, the more time they are spending with screens. Gen Z spends the most time with 9 hours per day. Millennials spend around 3.7 hours daily, while Gen X and Baby Boomers spend less time overall. 

Americans check their phones 96 times a day. That's once every ten minutes.  

Here is some more interesting facts about this... 

• 74% of Americans feel uneasy leaving their phone at home.

• 71% of say they check their phones within the first 10 minutes of waking up.

• 53% say that they have never gone more than 24 hours without their cell phone.

• 47% consider themselves “addicted” to their phones

• 70% check their phones within five minutes of receiving a notification.

• 64% use their phone on the toilet.

• 61% have texted someone in the same room as them

• 48% of people say they feel a sense of panic or anxiety when their cell phone battery goes below 20%.

• 45% say that their phone is their most valuable possession. 

Let's jump back and talk about kids now.

The average child ages 8 to 12 spends about 4.5 hours a day with screens. 

The first iPod came out in 2001 and the first iPhone in 2007. Today's kids have never known life without cell phone screens.  They've never used payphones or a physical map to drive somewhere. They've never been bound with a phone cord.  

Today's kids (and adults) are addicted to their screens. They use their smartphones or devices to socialize, learn, play, communicate, and search for information.   

Studies show that excessive screen time can lead to social isolation, negative impact on mental health, and reduced physical activity. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep deprivation.

In the book "The Anxious Generation" Jonathan Haidt says that phones began rewiring kids' brains in the the early 2010's. 

The shift has gone from "play-based childhood to "phone-based childhood."  Children have less access to outdoor play and just playing as kids do.

What's the solution? Haidt says we should make sure kids are getting time to play, delaying smartphone access to high school and limiting social media use until kids are at least 16 years old.

As I closed out the meeting with the campers and their parents this past weekend, I shared with them the spiritual benefits of being screen free at camp. This will allow their attention to be on God and what He wants to do in their life. Away from the screens, they will be more able to hear God more clearly and let Him draw them closer to Him. 

Digital detox!

Disconnecting to connect with God and other kids in a fresh way!

Here are some tips to pass along to parents not just for camp but in the flow of everyday life.

• Set up a time every day when devices are put away.  
• Spend more time outside.  Play outside. 
• Put phones away during meal time.
• Turn off notifications. 

Help kids see that screens are not bad...the devices just need to be managed properly.  I am believing that God is going to speak to our kids in a fresh way at camp and that with the absence of screens it will be easier for them to hear His voice and respond. 

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