The Biggest Reason Why Kids Grow Up and Walk Away From the Faith

Two major research organizations asked people why they left the church.

The number one answer?  They simply stopped believing. Over 50% say they have stopped believing in the core doctrines and faith tenets.

Turns out that the experience a child has in church between the ages of 5 and 17 is the single strongest predictor of whether they will stay with the faith as an adult.  

If a child has a negative experience at church, there is a 70% chance they will later walk away from the faith. 

But if a child has a positive experience at church, there is a 84% chance they will stick with the faith.  

What can we do about that as children's ministry leaders? Is the answer found in a new program?  More relevant worship music?  More lights and fog? Cooler games and activities?  A new version of the Bible for kids? Different small group curriculum? 

We cannot let this opportunity slip away. It's time the church makes children and student ministry a high, high priority.  It's time the church goes all in for reaching and discipling the next generation.

Ministry for kids and students is the front line in the battle for the next generation.  The enemy knows this and is going all out to steal, kill, and destroy the faith of the generation coming behind us.

So why are kids growing up and walking away from the church because of unbelief?  

I believe it is because churches are not teaching kids why we believe what we believe.  

I believe it is because churches are not teaching kids apologetics.

I believe it is because churches are not teaching kids doctrine. 

I believe it is because we are not letting kids ask the hard questions and helping them work through it. 

I believe it is because we are not teaching kids what the verses mean that they are memorizing. 

I believe it is because we are teaching kids about God but not about knowing God personally. 

I believe it is because we are not helping kids own their faith. 

I believe it is because we are not strategic with the curriculum we are teaching them. 

I believe it is because we are not preparing them to defend what they believe. 

I talk about this extensively in my book Fertile Soil...How to See Kids' Faith Grow and Flourish for a Lifetime. You can get your copy here.  

I also have 2 apologetics series for kids - Mythbusting and Pranksters. You can see these teaching series at this link.

It's time the church focuses on the next generation. Children and student ministry cannot be an afterthought.  It must be at the forefront of our thoughts, planning, strategy, and outreach. 

It's time the church turns its eyes to the greatest mission field in the world...kids and students. 

It's time for children and student ministry to be the most important ministry in the church.  

Children's ministry is not babysitting or childcare. It is crucial ministry at the most important time in a person's life.  If we don't reach and disciple children and students we will see them grow up and walk away as adults.

Children and student ministry leaders be encouraged. God is with you. He wants to pour out His power and anointing into your life as you serve on the front lines. 

Children and student ministry leaders be encouraged. Your ministry is dear to the heart of God.  Jesus paused adult ministry when He was here and made children's ministry a top priority when the parents brought their children to Him. 

Sadly in many churches, we find that children's ministry is just an afterthought.  The pastor and church leaders fail to invest heavily into children and student ministry. 

If you are in that situation, I would encourage you to share this article with your leaders. God has placed you where you are to be a champion for children and student ministry. Lovingly and humbly share this with your leaders. It might be just what they need to understand the importance of the ministry you are leading and serving. 

There is hope for the next generation. God has divinely placed you where you are for such a time as this. 

You are the person God wants to use to reach and disciple children and students through your local church.  You matter and what you do matters....more than you can comprehend. 

Together...with all of us engaged in this great work of God...we can see the faith projectory of an entire generation changed.   

Then we will see kids and students grow up to walk with God instead of away from God.

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10 Safety & Security Measures You Need for Your Children's Ministry

Safety and security is such an important part of children's ministry. It is a non-negotiable. In a world of abuse and insecurity, the church should be a place where parents and kids are safe.  The church should be a place where parents can feel confident that when they drop their child off, their child will be safe and secure.  

 

Churches have to get safety and security right if they want to earn the right to be heard by families. 

 

That being said, here are 10 safety and security measures you need to have in place. 

#1 - A secure check-in and check-out system.

 

Every child should receive a name tag and every parent should receive a matching tag for pick-up. Everyone has to show the matching tag when picking up their child.  No exceptions.  

 

#2 - No one should ever be alone with a child.

 

Again...no exceptions. 

 

#3 - A secure bathroom for boys and girls. 

 

These bathrooms should only be for kids to use.  

 

#4 - Always have two volunteers in place before you open a classroom. 

 

This ties into #2.  

 

#5 - A personal interview with potential volunteers.

 

Sit down and have a conversation with every potential volunteer. In this meeting, you will ask the hard questions and see if they are a good fit to serve in your children's ministry. If you would like a copy of the questions I ask for this, you can get a free copy at this link.

 

#6 - A background check on everyone.

 

After you have finished the personal interview and feel like they are a good fit, run a background check on them.  

 

#7 - Men don't change diapers.

 

Enough said. All the men are shouting "Hallelujah!" Seriously, for safety measures have ladies do the diaper changing.

 

#8 - Windows into every room so you can look in and see what is happening.

 

You should always be able to look in the room and see what is happening. Have side panel windows or a window in the door. 

 

#9 - Only approved volunteers and parents should be able to enter the children's area.

 

Check their tags as they are entering the children's area for drop off and pick-up. Keep the main doors locked during service.

 

#10 - A dedicated safety and security team that monitors the children's areas. 

 

Enlist a security team that helps keep your children's areas safe. If you can, take it to the next level and have an armed police officer on duty by the children's area. 

 

Do these 10 things and you will have a safe environment for the kids and families. 

 

p.s. Do you need more safety and security training?  You can access the Children's Ministry Safety and Security Webinar at this link and watch it on demand.

 

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7 Ways to Know That a Church Values Children's Ministry

How can you know if a church  values children's ministry? Some churches say they value children's ministry but their actions tell a different story. 

Let's put it to a test. Here are 7 ways you can know if a church truly does value children's ministry.

Volunteers

The church encourages people to serve in children's ministry. It is high on the list when it comes to volunteer opportunities. 

The best, most gifted volunteers can be found in the church's children's ministry.  The choir loft isn't full of volunteers while the children's ministry volunteer team is minuscule. 

The church knows this - the success of the church rises and falls on the strength of the volunteer team that ministers to the next generation. 

Facilities

When parents walk into your facilities, what are your facilities saying? 

Children are important here?

We care enough about the next generation to create quality environments for them?

Our children's facilities were designed with kids in mind...not adults?

Subpar children's facilities will make your children's ministry seem worse than it is while high quality children's facilities will make your children's ministry seem better than it is. 

Facilities for children matters...a lot. You can't stick kids in the basement in an environment that looks like a hospital and expect growth.

Your adult space may look great...but if your children's space isn't popping...then you will struggle to grow the ministry.

Budget

The children's ministry budget should be one of the largest budgets in the church. If a church says they care about reaching and discipling the next generation, then their budget allocations will reflect this. 

Money invested in children's ministry will pay for itself many times over in families who are reached.

Show me your budget and I will tell you how much you value children's ministry. 

Staffing 

A church that values children's ministry will have adequate staff.  I have created a staffing chart that shows how many staff you should have in your children's ministry based on attendance.  If you'd like a copy of the chart, feel free to email me and I will send it to you.

Visibility

The children's ministry will have high visibility.  This includes pulpit declaration, bulletin space, announcements, screen time, and an overall culture that says children's ministry is important to us.

Partnerships

The children's ministry will not be a silo. Other ministries in the church will partner with the children's ministry. There will be a partnership with student ministry. There will be a partnership with adult ministry.  The children's ministry will often collaborate with other ministries to reach and disciple families.  

Events

The church will invest generously to host children and family outreach events. Some examples are VBS, Easter outreach, summer camp, fall festivals / trunk or treat, Christmas events, etc. 

The entire church will get behind these events and will get involved by giving, volunteering, promoting, etc. 

Does your church value children's ministry? These are some good talking points as you lead children's ministry in your church. Feel free to share this article with your church leaders. 

A lot is at stake...we only have a short window of time to reach and disciple children.

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How Grandparents Can Leave a Legacy

LeCrae is an award-winning artist who is making an impact in the lives of young people around the world. Recently, I was watching him share his story and was reminded of the impact grandparents can have in the life of their grandchildren.  He starts by saying this.  

"I remember when I was 17 and a lady asked me, 'Are you saved?'  I didn't have any idea what she meant.  What is 'saved?'  The best thing I could think through was maybe she means, 'Am I like my grandmother?'"

Soon his grandmother's prayers would be answered as LeCrae found Christ and his life was transformed.  This is an example of the power of a grandparent’s legacy. The compound spiritual influence of a parent and grandparent in the life of a young person can be profound.

At the time of this writing, there are over 4.9 million children being raised by a grandparent in the United States.  Grandparents need our support and prayers as they invest in their grandchildren.

Here are five questions you can ask to help grandparents navigate raising and influencing their grandchildren.

1. How can you leverage the spiritual influence you have as a grandparent in the life of your grandchild?

2. How can you be more intentional about being involved in your grandchild's spiritual milestones?

3. How can you serve in your grandchild's environment at church?

4. How can we connect our Children's Ministry to our Senior Adult Ministry in our church?

5. What tools and resources can I use to help disciple my grandchildren?

For faith to continue through the generations of a family, there must be a passing down of that faith.  Parents' role is to pass down the faith to their children who will in turn pass it down to their children who will in turn pass it down to their children.  And so faith can thrive from generation to generation. There is a great example of this found in Scripture. 

"I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also."   2 Timothy 1:5

In this passage, we see faith was passed down through three generations.  Lois the grandmother, Eunice the mother and Timothy the son. We must remember that we teach what we know, but we produce what we are. I can guarantee you something.  Lois and Eunice lived their faith out.  As Timothy saw his grandmother and mother living out their faith, he was compelled to also possess this faith and live His life in accordance with it.

This doesn't mean grandparents and parents must be perfect to be a conduit of faith.  But it does mean that when we sin or our talk doesn't match our walk, then our kids and grandkids see us humbly admit our failure and ask God for forgiveness.

Be encouraged grandparents, even if you haven't been an example of sincere faith for your kids up to this point, you can start today.  Get with God. Ask Him to forgive you and help you be a faith example your grandchildren can follow.

No matter what your "faith passing down" situation has been up to this point, God offers you forgiveness and a fresh start.  He can use you to pass along a sincere faith starting today...right now.  Just admit to Him your failures and watch as He infuses you with a fresh faith that can change not only your life, but your grandchildren’s lives as well.

This is an excerpt from my latest book - Legacy...leave your mark on this world.  

You can get your copy of the book at this link. 

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