Has childhood changed in the last few decades? I would have to say "yes." It's a different world than what you and I grew up in.
It's important to understand these changes and how they can affect how we do children and family ministry.
Let's look at 10 of these changes and talk about it.
Children have lots of screen time.
When I was growing up, we had one screen. A television screen with three channels. There were no iPad screens, no desktop screens, no laptop screens, and no phone screens. In fact, the only thing phones had going for them was the long curly cord that was attached to the phone. If you wanted privacy, you were limited by how far that curly cord could stretch.
Fast forward to today. There are screens everywhere for kids. Screens now dominate childhood. Kids average several hours of screen time each day. The average daily screen time for children is high and increases with age. Kids 2-4 years old average over 2 hours daily. Kids age 5-12 average 4-6 hours daily. Kids 13-18 often are in front of a screen for 7.5-9 hours daily.
I remember in the 90's, it was a big deal before service to have video games in your elementary church environments. We would line the walls with video games and it was a big draw for kids. Fast forward to today...the draw for video games at church as went down considerably in my opinion. Why? Because kids have been playing games at home that morning and on the drive to church. They game all the time.
I have found that today's kids are drawn to hands on activities while they are waiting for church to start. Connect 4. Foosball. Air hockey. Basketball shooting. Puzzles. Coloring. Making bracelets. Why are these things coming back? Because kids have so much screen time during the week, that they are looking for some hands on experiences at church.
Keep this in mind before you buy any more video games for your children's ministry.
On demand.
Growing up there was one opportunity to watch cartoons. Saturday morning. If you missed it, you missed it. You had to wait until next Saturday.
This has changed. Today's children have something called "on demand." They can access information, movies, videos, cartoons, etc. any time they want. Any video, topic, subject or interest can be found on YouTube and other social media avenues.
This can lead to them needing "instant access" in other areas of their life as well. They can be very "demanding" at times due to this. Don't be surprised when they want to view something right now or they demand you produce something immediately in their class or worship environment.
I recently had a 3rd grader come up to me during kids' worship and ask me to play a song by his favorite singer. I shared with him that the songs for the day were already chosen and I didn't have access at the moment to the song. He quickly reminded me that the song is on YouTube and I should play it immediately.
He helped me understand what "on demand" means for a child growing up today.
They have lots of "noise.
Hundreds of messages are coming their way each day. I believe all of the messages create a noise that they have to sort through...very quickly. I used to say that kids' attention spans were about 1 minute for every year they are old. That meant that with a 5-year-old you had about 5 minutes to hold their attention.
Honestly, I don't think that is the case anymore. Today's kids are so inundated with noise that they only have seconds to decide what they are going to hear or give their attention to. Don't be surprised when it seems challenging at times to get your message through the noise and into their long-term memory.
I will say this about today's kids. Even when they are hearing noise and even being the cause of the noise at times, they have an uncanny way of retaining what you are trying to teach them.
Recently, I had one of those lessons where it seemed the kids weren't listening to anything I was saying. There was a lot of talking happening in their midst. Ever been there? It gets to the point where you are trying to talk over the conversations they are having right in the middle of your lesson.
But to my amazement, at the end of the lesson, I asked some review questions. To my surprise, the kids answered every single review question I threw at them. In fact, a child who had been talking during the lesson and who I had to correct several times, knew all of the answers. He even knew the answers to questions that were hard...questions about a small detail that I just mentioned in passing.
Don't get frustrated when you are teaching today's kids. They are just sorting through what you are sending their way. They are comprehending more than you think. Just ask them some review questions. You'll see it is true.
Today's kids watch less television and more online content.
As I mentioned earlier, they are watching YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and other new social media platforms that seem to emerge every six months. Parents are turning off the television because everyone is watching YouTube instead of what is on the TV screen. Or they are leaving the TV on for background noise while they engage online with their phone, tablet, laptop or other screen.
If this a great way to communicate the Gospel and disciple today's kids, then we need to step up and look for ways we can meet them where they are. Thankfully, there are ministries that are creating online content for this. But it is just a small drop in the bucket compared to what we should be doing if we are going to reach them where they are.
They play with "online" friends more than they do "in person" friends.
When I was a child, I found friends in my neighborhood through face-to-face play. We met in the backyard to play football. We spent hours riding our bikes in the neighborhood. We built forts and clubhouses together.
This has changed. Today friendships are often made more online than in person. Connections happen online. Games are played together online. Talking happens online.
Due to this, you have a great opportunity to help kids make in person connections. Get them in classes together. Get them in small groups together. Have volunteers who help them connect with other kids.
Meal time has changed.
Decades ago, children were expected to be at dinner with their parents and siblings. They would not only eat together, but would sit around the table each night, talking about what happened that day and sharing stories with each other.
Fast forward to today. In many homes, family dinner rarely happens. It has been replaced by grabbing something from McDonald's or Chik-Fil-a and eating in the car on the way to soccer practice.
Families are busy, busy, busy.
The reason why families have to "run through" the drive through is because they are busy. Events, practices, games and more fills their calendar. Monday night is soccer practice. Tuesday is a t-ball game. Wednesday is basketball practice. Thursday is dance. Friday is a performance. Saturday is filled with games all day. Sunday, the "day of "rest" is replaced with more games and activities.
In many cases, this causes well-meaning parents to make bad decisions. They begin skipping church due to a game being played. They have to pull their children out of Wednesday night church discipleship due to a practice.
Some families even take it to the next level by involving their children in travel teams. Kids and their families begin missing church for weeks and even months at a time due to this.
What message is this sending to today's children? What priorities are we exemplifying to them?
We need to understand that there is a lot at stake in this for the next generation. Will today's kids grow up and give God no priority in their lives because of the message sent to them in all this? We must come alongside parents and encourage them in this. We must speak the truth in love for them and their family.
Today's kids have less unstructured play time.
In previous generations, kids grew up with time to just be a kid. Unstructured play. We used our imaginations. We invented games to play. We ran through the sprinklers in the front yard. We played on metal slides and merry-go-rounds (and somehow we survived). We made "slip' n slides" out of plastic tarps and the water hose.
This has changed. Childhood has shifted from an outdoor, unsupervised experience to a highly structured, indoor, and safe play.
It's hard for kids to find time to just "play" because they are over scheduled.
Their time at church is usually very structured as well. Every minute is accounted for. Have we become so structured that church is just another place where kids are told to sit still and be quiet as we download information into their mind?
I believe it's important to give kids time to create, play, and use their imaginations to learn about God's Word.
Last week, I was teaching the kids about David and Goliath. I divided them into groups and gave them a 10 foot long piece of butcher paper. I also gave them some crayons and markers. I said, "I would like you to use your imagination and draw Goliath on your butcher paper." It was awesome watching them draw their version of Goliath.
Then we taped their 10 feet tall Goliath on the wall and gave them some fake rocks to throw at him. They had so much fun...playing...using their imagination...and learning about a God who is with them and can help them defeat the giants they will face in life.
Personal responsibilities.
In the past, most children had personal responsibilities. They had to do "chores" around the house. Cooking. Cleaning. Mowing the grass. Helping with the dishes. Taking out the trash.
Today's kids as a whole do not have to do many of these chores. This can lead to kids not taking as much personal responsibility in their life and future tasks.
In many ways, we have done the same thing at church. We tell kids to sit still and be quiet and then when they grow up that's what they continue to do. They sit still and they don't move to serve and help others. Why? Because we didn't give them opportunities to own the ministry as they were growing up.
I believe we should give kids responsibilities when it comes to church. They are so many ways they can serve and help take responsibility for the ministry. Kids can run the audio and video. Kids can help clean up after class. Kids can be greeters. Kids can pass out supplies. Kids can help lead worship. Kids can assist the teacher.
Parents let their kids decide where they will attend church.
Today's kids wield much power when it comes to making decisions. They decide what they get from the grocery store. They decide where the family will eat dinner. That's why you see families drive past a steak house and pull into McDonalds. Guess whose idea that was?
When it comes to church, kids often make the decision about where the family will attend. Dad and mom can thoroughly enjoy the adult service, but if Johnny and Suzie aren't smiling when they pick them up from kids' church, you probably won't see the family return.
Today's families pick a church based on two things:
Are you friendly?
What do you have to offer my kids?
In years gone by, it was parents dragging their kids to church. The kids didn't have much say about where they would go. They had to sit in church and endure it whether they liked it nor not. Today's kids have a big say in where their family will attend church.
Keep this in mind if you want to see your church grow and reach more families. I believe that children's ministry is the biggest growth engine of the church. With that in mind, we must go all out to reach the next generation and their families.
So there you have it. 10 changes in childhood. Think about it. Do you need to do some things differently with this in mind? If you want to be effective, then it may be time to make some changes that correspond with the changes that are happening to this thing called childhood.
