Why Older Kids Are Bored With Your Lessons...And How to Fix It

Are you having a hard time getting older kids to engage with your lessons? Are older kids saying your lessons are "boring?"

Let me help you fix that. Take a look at this quote from the master of helping kids engage with you.  None other than the man himself...Walt Disney. Here is what he said about this. 

It was the first entertainment that Walt Disney had ever designed expressly for children. ‘But we’re not going to talk down to the kids…let’s aim for the twelve-year-old. The younger ones will watch…
they’ll want to see what their older brothers and sisters are looking at.'

Walt knew that you have to aim high. In other words, if you’re trying to connect with kids of various ages in a large-group setting, always target the oldest kids in the group. If you connect with the older kids, you’ll grab the attention of all the kids.

Marketing experts know and practice this principle. I took their advice and created these guidelines for children’s programming. 

Target the oldest boy in the group. In other words, appeal to your oldest boys and you will appeal to everyone.

Choose music that will appeal to the oldest kids in the group. Know what style of music the oldest kids in your group are listening to. Nothing will turn off your group quicker than playing songs that sound too “babyish.”

Feature older kids in your graphics and videos. Our elementary print pieces contain pictures of the oldest kids in the age group. If we do a video or skit involving kids, we normally use fifth-and sixth-graders as actors.

Use the oldest kids in the room on the praise team. If the oldest boys in your group are standing around with their hands in their pockets during worship, check who’s leading. Our praise team is comprised of the oldest kids in the room, junior and senior high school students, plus adults.

Use clips from movies that upper elementary kids think are “cool.” If your clips are from movies aimed at upper elementary kids, you’ll engage all grades.

Bring in upper elementary kids, and ask them to rate the “coolness” of your programming. They can quickly help you identify what needs to be adjusted.

Take cues from pre-teen marketers. They can give you valuable ideas on how to connect with today’s older kids.

Have the oldest kids sit up front. Before I saw this quote from Walt, I would put the youngest kids up front and the older kids in the back. That was a mistake. When older kids see "little" kids in front of them, they will disengage because it appears to be for the little kids. 

Flip that. Put the oldest kids up front. This will help you engage all of the kids. Younger kids will look up front and see the older kids are engaging and it will cause everyone to engage. 

If older kids are bored with your lessons or events or programs, try this simple idea from Walt and you will see immediate results.

Have you read the best selling book "If Disney Ran Your Children's Ministry?" It has lots of great tips for engaging kids with your lessons. You can get it at this link. 

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The "No Screen" Zone...Why Kids Don't Like It

This past weekend, I had a meeting with all of the kids who are going to our summer camp and their parents. 

When we mentioned that there will be no game systems or cell phones allowed, a collective "uhhhh" sound was heard. 

The thought of not having their cell phone or gaming device for a week made them very uncomfortable. 

Today's kids...especially pre-teens...feel lost without their screens. 

But there are great benefits that come from having kids go "no screen" for a period of time.  

They get away from the constant pressure to answer a call or text.  With technology, we are now wired to respond immediately when our phone dings.  But at camp this urgency is removed which helps kids be more relaxed after the initial shock of not having their device.

Nearly half of the next generation spends every waking moment with screens. Playing games. Texting. Streaming. Watching. 

But let's be honest. It's not just the next generation struggling with this.  Adults also face the same challenge. Think about it. When you wake up in the morning, what do you immediately do? When you fall asleep at night, what are you doing? When you are sitting in a parking lot waiting for the kiddos, what are you doing? 

This is everyone's world today. Our phones and tablets and laptops keep us connected, help us with driving directions, let us order food on the go, listen to music, and a host of other apps and programs that help us navigate life in 2026. 

Did you know there are 6.92 billion smartphone users in the world? That's 86.29% of the global population. The average person in America spends 4 hours and 37 minutes every day on their smartphone.

The younger the generation, the more time they are spending with screens. Gen Z spends the most time with 9 hours per day. Millennials spend around 3.7 hours daily, while Gen X and Baby Boomers spend less time overall. 

Americans check their phones 96 times a day. That's once every ten minutes.  

Here is some more interesting facts about this... 

• 74% of Americans feel uneasy leaving their phone at home.

• 71% of say they check their phones within the first 10 minutes of waking up.

• 53% say that they have never gone more than 24 hours without their cell phone.

• 47% consider themselves “addicted” to their phones

• 70% check their phones within five minutes of receiving a notification.

• 64% use their phone on the toilet.

• 61% have texted someone in the same room as them

• 48% of people say they feel a sense of panic or anxiety when their cell phone battery goes below 20%.

• 45% say that their phone is their most valuable possession. 

Let's jump back and talk about kids now.

The average child ages 8 to 12 spends about 4.5 hours a day with screens. 

The first iPod came out in 2001 and the first iPhone in 2007. Today's kids have never known life without cell phone screens.  They've never used payphones or a physical map to drive somewhere. They've never been bound with a phone cord.  

Today's kids (and adults) are addicted to their screens. They use their smartphones or devices to socialize, learn, play, communicate, and search for information.   

Studies show that excessive screen time can lead to social isolation, negative impact on mental health, and reduced physical activity. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep deprivation.

In the book "The Anxious Generation" Jonathan Haidt says that phones began rewiring kids' brains in the the early 2010's. 

The shift has gone from "play-based childhood to "phone-based childhood."  Children have less access to outdoor play and just playing as kids do.

What's the solution? Haidt says we should make sure kids are getting time to play, delaying smartphone access to high school and limiting social media use until kids are at least 16 years old.

As I closed out the meeting with the campers and their parents this past weekend, I shared with them the spiritual benefits of being screen free at camp. This will allow their attention to be on God and what He wants to do in their life. Away from the screens, they will be more able to hear God more clearly and let Him draw them closer to Him. 

Digital detox!

Disconnecting to connect with God and other kids in a fresh way!

Here are some tips to pass along to parents not just for camp but in the flow of everyday life.

• Set up a time every day when devices are put away.  
• Spend more time outside.  Play outside. 
• Put phones away during meal time.
• Turn off notifications. 

Help kids see that screens are not bad...the devices just need to be managed properly.  I am believing that God is going to speak to our kids in a fresh way at camp and that with the absence of screens it will be easier for them to hear His voice and respond. 

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10 Leadership Tips for Leading in Children's Ministry

Everything rises and falls on leadership...and that includes children's ministry.

Here are 10 leadership tips for leading in children's ministry. 

Cast vision...continuously.

Have a clear vision for the ministry and point people toward it. 

This brings unity to the team and helps align the ministry to a common, God-sized vision. 

Don't forget that vision leaks. As I said, cast it all the time. 

Use the majority of your time pouring into others.

Remember this...it's not about what you can do...it's about what you can empower other people to do.  The biggest part of your week should be investing in your leaders.

Lead with integrity. 

Make sure your private life lines up with your public life.  In the last few years, we have seen many church leaders have to step down from ministry because of secret sin.  

Walk the talk.  Don't get taken down by secret sins. What is behind the curtain will eventually be known in front of the curtain. 

Have people who hold you accountable.  

Remember...the best way to be successful in ministry is to stay in ministry. 

Spend time with Jesus every day.  

Your first calling is to spend time with Jesus each day. Walk with Him. Read His Word each day. Ask Him to speak to your heart each day as you stay in close fellowship with Him. 

Don't get so busy working for Jesus that you don't have time to spend with Jesus. 

Time spent with Jesus is never wasted.  Out of your time spent with Him will come your anointing and the power of God working through you.  

Be good with kids...be great with leaders of kids.

Grow as a leader of adults. 

Read leadership books. Read emotional intelligence books.  Work on your people skills. Uncover your blind spots and work on them.

Take your days off and use your vacation time.

This will help you avoid burnout. It is crucial to take time off if you want to go the distance in ministry.  

I have an electric razor that is not working right now. Can't find the power cord that it plugs into. Hence when I turn it on nothing happens. Why? Because I haven't been able to recharge it. The same goes with your ministry. You must take time each day to plug into God and get recharged. 

Guard your heart above all else.

The Bible clearly states that your job as a leader is to guard your heart.

Guard your heart against bitterness.

Guard your heart against jealously.

Guard your heart against anger.

Guard your heart against disappointment.

Guard your heart against sin. 

Never arrive..always be learning.

No matter how long you've been leading...you should always be learning and seeking to grow.  Be very intentional about this.  

When you stop learning, you stop growing. Don't fall into the trap of complacency.

Don't use people to build the ministry...use the ministry to build people.

It's not about what you want from people.  It should be about what you want for people. 

Show by your words and actions that you care about your team members.  

You've heard this before...it's so true. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. 

Lead by relationships instead of trying to lead by title.  People don't follow a title...they follow someone they love and respect.

Be the children and family ministry champion in your church.

You should be the person who keeps children's ministry on senior leadership's radar...whether it's the pastor or someone else you report to. 

Don't be shy about communicating the needs and vision of children's ministry. 

You must be the squeaky wheel for children's ministry. It's your job. That's what they are expecting you to do. 

Yes...use wisdom and balance...but make sure you are the champion for children and family ministry. 

So...there you go. Those are my 10 tips.

What are some other tips you have for children's ministry leaders? Share in the comment section below.

p.s. Have you read my book "Lead Well in Children's Ministry?"  You can gets tons of more leadership tips in this book. It's available at this link. 

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The Number 6...Why It's Critical to Teaching Kids

Did you know the number 6 is a key part of effectively teaching kids?

Here's why. 

Studies show that if a child hears something one time in a month, they will only remember about 5% of it.

But...if a child hears something 6 times in a month, their retention rate goes up to 95%!

Here is a practical way to put this into practice. 

Each month, make sure you have the kids repeat your key teaching verse and truth at least 6 times.  If you will do this, you will see the verse and truth go into their long-term memory. 

When the verse and truth is transferred into their long-term memory, they will remember it when they are in college one day and are faced with temptations and attacks on the Word of God.   

Personally, I have kids repeat the key truth at least 6 times each week. I want to make sure they get it for life.  

Here's the cool thing...when I do this, it is amazing that kids can repeat the key truths and verses years later when I ask them to share what they've learned.

If you haven't checked out my curriculum series called Connect12, you should take a look at it. Connect12 teaches kids 12 critical truths over the course of a year...one truth each month. Take them through this curriculum and it will be embedded into their memory for life. 

You can see the curriculum and get a preview at this link.  It is great for small groups, large groups, and mid-week Bible study.  Try a month and watch the kids get it for life. 

6...remember this number...it can be a game-changer for the kids in your ministry.

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